All My Friends Are Fucking Cooks part one - Andy Speck

Fuck it, outta my skull bored, so I’m at the Night Kitchen with Candice trying to interview/dissect Andy Speck without him getting wise. This may or may not be what was said or what happened. And with limited context: All my friends are fucking cooks part one – Andy Speck

Kevin and Candice Interview Andy at the NightKitchen

Kevin: Candice we have to interview Andy without him knowing about it.

Andy: y'all can gang bang the shit out of me.

Candice: he likes gang baning

Kevin: what?

Candice: he likes gang banging

Kevin: hmmmm.

...

Candice: what are your dick plans for tomorrow

Andy: DIRTYMOTHERFUCKER

Andys dick: im gonna fuck a pie

Andy: Harlow got a pink rhinestone leather collar.she needs spikes on it so people know that she is gonna jump up claws first on them. I LOVE YOU I COULD EAT YOU.

Andy: [Andy sings the cramps]

Candice: that's alot of pizza you're eating there cflow, not watching your figure?

Cflow: nope.

Candice: cflow do you think andy is handsome?

Cflow: sure yeah. [nods head and smiles]

Andy: [walks in from outside] YEAH [goes to the loo]

Kevin: pretending to dry your hands good move

Andy: just spreading the piss evenly. piss spread!...UGLY MOTHERFUCKER.

Kevin: what is andy known for around here?

Candice: cut up black tshirts and outburst..."UGLY MOTHERFUCKER."

Andy: small head. bighands.

Kevin: big hands big feet small head

Andy: big hands but narrow

Harrlow: BARK BARK [just like his dick]

Kevin: big dick but narrow

Andy: yeah man...what are you doing over there?

Candice: wouldnt you like to know

Andy: I asked didn't I.

Cflow: [grabs a cookie from the cookie jar] are those gonna kill you?

Andy: i love ghetto cooking got good at it

Andy: good for you rory nice balls.

Andy: WHOA is that guy portaging down hunter street. he's been berzerkered.

Andy: [rubs pepperoni on face] thats gonna be a lucky slice for someone.

Andy: YEA

Kevin: when do you think his next outburst will be?

[ Andy sucks fork with experience and does a weird sexy dance with paper towel.]

Candice: oh its still happening. Does the dancing count as an outburst or is there a difference between pysical out bursts and vocal outburst?

ANDY: [doing dishes] WHOATHERE'SDILLINTHIS

Kevin: its as if there are a cluster of outburst

Candice: like he is going into outburst labour, they are getting closer and closer together.

Candice: he needs to start saying radical more

Andy: i like to do whaterever my friends want me to start to do.

[Andy starts whistling]

Candice: he's making his own music now

Andy: RUNNINAROUUUNDDDDD!

Andy: i'm gonna starting fucking the pizza before i put it in the case. I'm trying to better myself. that's why i've been saying radical more. not to cum, just a quick fuck.

Andy: Cflow are we done yet, fuck!

Candice: swearing in front of children. Radical. where'd you get a pear there buddy?

Andy: RJ's i told him too. We're getting bubble wrap with the produce, wicked. sorry radical, it's new...not the bubble wrap, radical.

Andy: AHHHHWHAT. I labeled the mustard mustarded and someone took it off and replaced it with mustard.

Andy: can i read that i forget everything i've said.

Candice: you know what we're doing

Andy: im weird not retarded, dont say retarded say stupid i dont want to offend anybody.

Candice:you already said mustarded.

Andy: i don't care about mustards, fucking mustarded's they dont scare me.

Andy: I MUST TURD. MUST TURD. SO MUCH PIZZA MUST TURD.

Andy: I've eaten so much pizza my shit hasn't floated in three years.

Kevin: how should we end this?

Andy: I dont know im going out for a smoke. [physical outburst Andy starts dancing outside]