Ruin Your Fucking Life (at thirteen)

It's the jump off, start a punk band.

Shawns Dick : Bad Teens That Impregnate Bad Teens

Teen pregnancy is a serious issue and Sometimes bad teens getting pregnant can be a good thing. For example: The teen you're fucking tells you that she thinks she is pregnant by another guy. Not only do you get to fuck a pregnant teen for roughly nine months, but you are also not responsible for the child.

Beard Teen Ensemble

Andy has a beard again, Brandon still has a beard, Amy has a beard somewhere maybe, germ sperman is a fucking amateur.  no further updates until this is corrected.

approximately, infinite jubilation

The next ones going to be insightful, I promise. Andy just uploaded some taster tracks to internet. Don't know if you've heard about it but somewhere out there on it. One day we will get together and try to release a tape. The Garage Rock Jubilee, sorry indie rock jubilee, was so much fucking fun. We sort of planned to take a break, but we'll probably just keep going out there and fucking up. On November 25th go to the Bumpin' Tacos cd release. The Tacos are playing w/ Hobo Banditos at the Garnet. Don't fuck up.

bromembrance day fuck fest

At the spill, kicked off the early am of november11th with a real fuck fest. Another one, got the mix of the bad teen tracks from bareknuckle recordings. 9 tracks of fucking up good. who will master this garbage?Another one, Garage Rock Jubilation this Saturday at the Pigs Ear Tavern. 

Fuck You, Shit We've Done!

Did some rock and roll around and otherwise. You were there and you weren't there. Couple house parties, couple not house parties, one in the nations capital. Lots of late nights. We recorded a record with Dan Jacobs. We will do something with it sometime. Some of you will get it and some of you won't get it. A few working titles 'tits and ghosts', 'shawns dick', 'gay family', 'hot chicks with big dicks'. thinking about stealing art work from Marie Croutch. Thinking about stealing art work from Brian Rideout.Thinking about playing gigs and cancelling gigs this November. House party in Guelph Nov. 4th. Canceled fuck you. Nov 10. fuck you. Nov. 12. garage rock jubilee. fuck you.  Have Fun.

let;s get blasted outta our skin.

fuck you, we play tomorrow night at the spill. 17th sept. 10pm

Be As Responsible As Andy Speck, Help Him Move, Help Him Drink His Beer

One day only, your chance to win! Steal a load barring vehicle and help the incredibly cute Andy Speck move to his new home. Is that all you ask? No, move his Dog too. Act now and get to eat night kitchen crust for free. Act later and eat day old night kitchen crust. Ask why not and find out why not. If you're lucky, find yourself in luck with an open mouth kiss. my deepest regards to you Speck, I hope this was posted after you moved in to your new place and that nobody helped you. Fuck you Speck, you cute bastard. PEACE.

All My Friends Are Fucking Cooks part one - Andy Speck

Fuck it, outta my skull bored, so I’m at the Night Kitchen with Candice trying to interview/dissect Andy Speck without him getting wise. This may or may not be what was said or what happened. And with limited context: All my friends are fucking cooks part one – Andy Speck

Kevin and Candice Interview Andy at the NightKitchen

Kevin: Candice we have to interview Andy without him knowing about it.

Andy: y'all can gang bang the shit out of me.

Candice: he likes gang baning

Kevin: what?

Candice: he likes gang banging

Kevin: hmmmm.

...

Candice: what are your dick plans for tomorrow

Andy: DIRTYMOTHERFUCKER

Andys dick: im gonna fuck a pie

Andy: Harlow got a pink rhinestone leather collar.she needs spikes on it so people know that she is gonna jump up claws first on them. I LOVE YOU I COULD EAT YOU.

Andy: [Andy sings the cramps]

Candice: that's alot of pizza you're eating there cflow, not watching your figure?

Cflow: nope.

Candice: cflow do you think andy is handsome?

Cflow: sure yeah. [nods head and smiles]

Andy: [walks in from outside] YEAH [goes to the loo]

Kevin: pretending to dry your hands good move

Andy: just spreading the piss evenly. piss spread!...UGLY MOTHERFUCKER.

Kevin: what is andy known for around here?

Candice: cut up black tshirts and outburst..."UGLY MOTHERFUCKER."

Andy: small head. bighands.

Kevin: big hands big feet small head

Andy: big hands but narrow

Harrlow: BARK BARK [just like his dick]

Kevin: big dick but narrow

Andy: yeah man...what are you doing over there?

Candice: wouldnt you like to know

Andy: I asked didn't I.

Cflow: [grabs a cookie from the cookie jar] are those gonna kill you?

Andy: i love ghetto cooking got good at it

Andy: good for you rory nice balls.

Andy: WHOA is that guy portaging down hunter street. he's been berzerkered.

Andy: [rubs pepperoni on face] thats gonna be a lucky slice for someone.

Andy: YEA

Kevin: when do you think his next outburst will be?

[ Andy sucks fork with experience and does a weird sexy dance with paper towel.]

Candice: oh its still happening. Does the dancing count as an outburst or is there a difference between pysical out bursts and vocal outburst?

ANDY: [doing dishes] WHOATHERE'SDILLINTHIS

Kevin: its as if there are a cluster of outburst

Candice: like he is going into outburst labour, they are getting closer and closer together.

Candice: he needs to start saying radical more

Andy: i like to do whaterever my friends want me to start to do.

[Andy starts whistling]

Candice: he's making his own music now

Andy: RUNNINAROUUUNDDDDD!

Andy: i'm gonna starting fucking the pizza before i put it in the case. I'm trying to better myself. that's why i've been saying radical more. not to cum, just a quick fuck.

Andy: Cflow are we done yet, fuck!

Candice: swearing in front of children. Radical. where'd you get a pear there buddy?

Andy: RJ's i told him too. We're getting bubble wrap with the produce, wicked. sorry radical, it's new...not the bubble wrap, radical.

Andy: AHHHHWHAT. I labeled the mustard mustarded and someone took it off and replaced it with mustard.

Andy: can i read that i forget everything i've said.

Candice: you know what we're doing

Andy: im weird not retarded, dont say retarded say stupid i dont want to offend anybody.

Candice:you already said mustarded.

Andy: i don't care about mustards, fucking mustarded's they dont scare me.

Andy: I MUST TURD. MUST TURD. SO MUCH PIZZA MUST TURD.

Andy: I've eaten so much pizza my shit hasn't floated in three years.

Kevin: how should we end this?

Andy: I dont know im going out for a smoke. [physical outburst Andy starts dancing outside]

EVIL WHITE

Absolutely wild, what turns you on to this sort of thing? No matter how much, try to get with it, grow those Fs and Vs, can't get with it. Wanna pick fruit and pull root, you know be that harvestier, fundamentally opposed. I don't know if I'll ever really understand it, can't get away from the cancer. Want cancer, can't get on with the simple life, can't attended to the richness of life,  seek to inherit depravity. Is it possible to have both naturalism and despair - simplicity and masochism?

we are bloggered

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